Coaching Moments vs. Coaching Conversations
- mayadolgin
- Mar 18
- 3 min read
(March 18, 2025 Newsletter)
If you want to bring some coaching skills into your management style but feel like you don’t have time, opt for shorter but more frequent coaching moments.
What’s the difference?
Coaching Moments: Offering a few words of encouragement and/or asking one good question before giving advice. Works best when you don’t have time to get into a whole conversation but still want to pass the ball back to them before giving your input.
Let’s say that you’re trying to get someone to take more ownership of their work and they ask for advice on something you think they can solve. You can…
Offer encouragement: “I trust that you understand this client just as well, if not better, than I do.” Or “I’ve seen you make the right call before. I’m sure you can here too.”
Ask a powerful question: “What’s your gut on this?” or “What have you seen work in similar cases?”
Do both: “I’m sure you’re going to come up with the right solution. What options are you considering?”
Coaching Conversations: Setting up an interaction that will go deeper to surface more powerful insights and detailed next steps. (I’ve written about the classic GROW framework, as an example).
These conversations take longer (let’s say 20 minutes), are often on meatier topics, and will be most effective when both sides get into the headspace.
Why it matters
You want your time back. You want your team to come to you with higher level issues. You want to know they’re solving their problems as best they can before coming to you for help.
And as long as you give them answers every time they come to you for something, big or small, it just won’t happen.
Coaching moments are a great entryway. As a kid in basketball practice, our coaches would often encourage us to build the muscles of teamwork by passing the ball once before taking a shot. It’s the same thing.
Passing the ball once before taking the shot meant forcing yourself to see who’s open, indicating you trust your teammates, and giving yourself a moment to get into a better position.
How to catch a coaching moment
Spot it. It starts with recognizing the moment in time. Someone slacks you a question and you start to type out a quick response. Someone emails you a draft, you open it, and immediately see it could use more work before you review. Someone asks a question in a meeting that you think they know the answer (or could practice their reasoning skills in that moment). Yes, I see it! Pass the ball.
Be ready with a few responses. To be ready when the moment comes, think in advance of a few things you really admire about each person on your team. Or make a list of a few questions (see the Coaching Corner below) that become your go-to’s.
Get comfortable with the discomfort. The person who is used to just getting the answer from you might wonder why you’re not just giving it to them anymore. I hate to use a cliché, but if you want to keep getting the same results, keep doing what you’re doing. They won’t rise up to a higher level of critical thinking, pay closer attention to detail, etc. if you don’t push them (while supporting them in the growth).
Final thought: After the coaching moment, you’re welcome to give them feedback. Do you think they’re in the right direction? Would you suggest they consider another angle? Have you had an experience that could be helpful to keep in mind?
The Coaching Corner
Here are a few Coaching Moment questions you can save and keep close on hand:
What’s your gut saying?
What options are you considering?
What’s worked for you in the past?
What’s the real challenge here for you? (watch this TED talk about that question)
Recommendations
“Long Covid at Work: A Manager’s Guide” – I found this piece eye-opening and encourage you to read it too.
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