Kind of, sort of, you know, like
- mayadolgin
- Jun 11
- 3 min read
(June 10, 2025 Newsletter)
Growing up, Clueless and Beverly Hills 90210 shaped how my generation speaks. “Like” entered our lexicon and became the bane of our parents’ and teachers’ existence.
It seems that enough years of consistent corrections by our parents and teachers declined the use of “like” as a filler word, but I’ve been disturbed by what’s replaced it instead: “kind of,” “sort of,” and “you know.”
These nonfluencies are so common that we barely even register them, but they can be distracting and undermining, especially when used regularly.
Why it matters
Everyone reading this newsletter aspires to sound more professional – and eliminating filler words is one of the primary ways to sound polished.
If you want to be invited to speak at more industry events, on podcasts, or be even more impactful in high stakes internal meetings, it’s worth putting in the effort to smooth out your fillers.
A few steps to get started
Raise your awareness. It’s hard to change a habit of which you’re unaware, so you can either: (a) record a virtual meeting or speaking opportunity and listen to it simply to find the fillers; (b) run the transcription through your favorite GenAI tool and ask it to analyze your use of fillers; (c) ask people you trust what they noticed.
Practice with prepared material. It’s easier to start with content that you’re not pulling from the top of your head, because most of the fillers will happen as you’re searching for words. Record yourself but also listen to yourself as you speak. When you get to a line when you used a filler, start that sentence over.
Move onto unrehearsed material. Since impromptu speaking will inevitably involve more fillers, practice speaking on a topic and record yourself again. Any time you use a filler, start that thought over.
Speak slower. As you learn your own habits from the recordings, you’ll begin to be able to anticipate the sorts of phrases to which you’ll tack on a quick “y’know” or “sorta.” As you practice slower, you’ll be able to catch them before they come out of your mouth. Trust me, it feels very satisfying when you do.
What to fill in instead? A few options: a breath (though I can tell on podcasts when someone is breathing too sharply in places where they used to have fillers!) or a simple pause will usually do the trick.
Unfortunately, there is no shortcut to replace actually practicing. There is no magic wand, so just listen back to yourself and get started.
Final thought:
I find that getting myself into a gametime headspace is helpful for more formal events. It’s common to slip back into old habits when you lose sight, so when you do, just readjust back to the smooth zone and congratulate yourself for noticing and getting back on track.
The Coaching Corner
In a group, share the floor and hold the authority
When you’re in a team meeting and want to have your coaching hat on, it doesn’t mean abdicating all power.
You can invite others to join in the conversation in a variety of ways that we’ve talked about in this newsletter, including inviting others to give their input first and you respond last, but make sure that at the end of any segment you’re the one moving the agenda along.
That means that if decisions need to be made, take the helm back, thank everyone for contributing, and either declare on the spot what the next steps are or let them know when they can expect a follow up from you with more information.
Recommendations
“What people get wrong about psychological safety” – 6 important misconceptions debunked to keep us aiming in the right direction on team collaboration and learning.
“Fixing the trust crisis with Rachel Botsman” podcast episode I’ve shared before but continue to come back to and learn from.
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