Wherever you go, there you are
- mayadolgin
- Nov 25
- 4 min read
(November 25, 2025 Newsletter)
In the list of phrases I find myself repeating often to clients, “Wherever you go, there you are” is at the top of the list.
I remember the first time I came across the concept – it was in an iconic scene in the first Austin Powers movie, where he is walking through Las Vegas and says to a stranger “There you are!” She replies, “Do I know you?” “No, but there you are!” He says, laughing as the montage continues. 10-year-old me felt like I had heard wisdom of the Buddha.
Why it matters
Most of my clients are in constant motion – aiming higher, wanting more, questioning whether they are on the right path, wondering what if.
And then we slow down the conversation. I remind them: wherever you go, there you are.
Thinking of switching jobs because you don’t get along with coworkers? Wherever you go, there you are.
Believe that if you had a fancier title people would respect you more? Wherever you go, there you are.
Wondering if you would be happier if you made more money? Wherever you go, there you are.
To be clear, I’m not saying “no” to any of the above questions. That’s not my job as a coach. But I’m not saying yes, either. I’m just inviting you to examine what would change about your circumstances (and happiness, fulfillment, etc.) and what would stay the same.
The power of presence
In a course I took last year I heard a definition of presence that resonated with me – it’s the ability to fully take in what’s going on around you while staying fully aware of yourself.
When we are too focused on the other, we can easily lose ourselves. And when we are too focused on ourselves, we cannot connect with others.
Being aware of both experiences simultaneously is a hard practice to develop. There is a combination of mental, emotional, and physical work involved. Most of the time we fail, we forget, we default to what we know (or don’t know). And with all my practice, don’t worry, I’m in the boat too. I’m trying and invite you to keep trying too.
How this phrase can help
Consider this phrase my Thanksgiving gift to you. Here are a few ways it can help you get grounded and present:
When you’re experiencing high levels of stress and start to fantasize about switching jobs, remember: Wherever you go, there you are. Ask yourself, how much of the stress are you imposing on yourself? If you were to switch jobs, what’s the likelihood that within a few months you would be just as stressed? What could you do now to lower the stress you’re feeling? If you’re feeling it’s time to move on, what would you want to do differently in the next job to ensure manageable stress levels?
When you are in a cycle of constant arguments with a colleague you don’t trust, remember: Wherever you go, there you are. Ask yourself: what are you contributing to the cycle? How is this pattern familiar to you from other parts of your life? If you were to make one change to this dynamic that would also impact other parts of your life, what would it be?
And knowing that many of you will be reading this while your mind is on Thanksgiving – when you say you’re going to shut off for vacation but find yourself back at your laptop (mea culpa as I write this from Newport, RI…), remember: Wherever you go, there you are. Ask yourself: what can you do to truly recharge over the long weekend? What really needs to get done and what can wait? What’s really drawing you back to work – is it a push or a pull?
Final thought:
Wherever you are right now as you read this, just be. Look around you - there is something right in front of your eyes for which you can be grateful. Enjoy it. Wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to all those celebrating. I’m grateful to all of you for your friendship. The responses I get to the newsletter motivate me to continue this long conversation we have been in. I welcome more dialogue – keep it coming.
The Coaching Corner
Showing gratitude
The more specific your thank you’s are, the better they will land. Instead of “Thanks for a great job, everyone!” try some of these:
Thanks for seeing this project through to the end with such vigilance and care.
I appreciate how thoughtful you were in crafting that delicate email.
I love how I can always count on you to know when to pull me in and when you can handle this on your own.
Recommendations
“Heroing Won’t Save You This Year” – article by Jim Dethmer, co-founder of the Conscious Leadership Group on the role of the Hero in the Drama Triangle: why it’s unproductive and how to get into Coach mode instead.
Image: “What a great manager does” by Liz and Mollie. Thank you to everyone who’s arm is tired holding up that big umbrella over your teams.
A new McKinsey study about the quality shared by the most successful CEOs – hint, we write about it and talk about it all the time with our clients.
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