Be a Zero
- mayadolgin
- Apr 8
- 4 min read
(April 8, 2025 Newsletter)
This lesson comes from one of my favorite books, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth by Chris Hadfield.
Hadfield shares that there are only three ways that people see us: as a Plus One (+1), a Zero (0), or a Minus One (-1). Do we add value, are we neutral, or do we take away value?
When we’re in a new dynamic, we always want to be seen as a +1, but if we present ourselves as such (“Hello! Look at all these awesome things I know how to do! Let me show you and point out the ways you’re doing it wrong!”), we will be seen as a -1.
So the only way to become a +1 is to start off a 0 and let people discover your value.
I think about this lesson all the time. What I’ve discovered is that Being a Zero is useful in more cases than just when you’re starting out somewhere new.
Humble leadership when you’re trying to prove yourself
Let’s start with the base case: establishing a new dynamic.
The TLDR is as follows: people can’t be convinced of your value if they don’t experience it themselves. If you tell them how valuable you are and they don’t feel that’s the case, trust plummets and can be hard to regain.
Instead, start with demonstrating interest about what’s already there: the people, the history, the existing processes and practices. Connect on that level by ask questions and finding ways to jump in early to get involved.
This can feel counterintuitive for a few reasons: First, weren’t you brought in to add value? What’s all the waiting about? Second, what if you are concerned that if you don’t show your value, they just won’t see it? Maybe you’ll never become a +1 and stay a 0 (or worse).
On the first point, before adding value you have to establish trust. They have to believe that you’re competent, reliable, sincere, and care about the same goals. In the time when you’re Being a Zero, your effort should be going toward finding ways to establish these four components of trust (you can read more about them in the Thin Book of Trust).
On the second point, I understand that fear. The key is in looking for small ways to add value and keeping your eye out for signals that it’s working. You’ll find the right moments to say, “Do you mind if I make a suggestion?” or “I’m happy to share what it looks like from an outsider’s perspective.”
Staying humble when conflict arises in an established dynamic
Once the dynamic is established and you know you’re seen as a +1, you can fly. When trust is high, you can take charge and make necessary changes to reach your goals.
But what happens if you’ve fallen into -1 territory with key stakeholders? Attempts to prove your value might just make it worse. Better to go back to Being a Zero.
Go into listening mode. Ask powerful questions and thank them for their honesty. Hear them out and see what you can do to respond to their concerns.
I recognize that this is uncomfortable and even more counterintuitive than Being a Zero when you’re just settling in. But pulling back demonstrates that you’re willing to partner on a solution rather than assert yourself when trust has dipped.
In short: Being a Zero means being humble and responsive. It can be useful when establishing new dynamics but also when re-establishing shaky ones.
Final thought: With Passover in just a few days, remember that Moses, the person who led the Israelites from slavery to freedom, isn’t even mentioned in the Haggadah. That’s Being a Zero energy. His leadership was so undeniable that we don’t need a reminder to talk about him at the Seder.
The Coaching Corner
Powerful past-tense questions
I often talk about powerful questions as being future focused, but of course there are questions that evoke awareness and possibilities while also looking back. Here are some that can be helpful with your team:
In what ways have you grown in the last year?
What have you learned by leading this project?
What from X [past experience] could apply in Y [new challenge]?
These types of questions will work best in a meeting oriented specifically to reflection, like an annual or quarterly review, or debriefing after a project. But they can also be helpful (the third one, specifically) when helping the person problem solve on their own.
Recommendations
Simon Sinek’s recent interview with AirBNB CEO Brian Chesky was enlightening for me in a bunch of ways, most notably what it means to have a beginner’s mindset as a very established leader. If he can, we all can.
I shared two others above, so that’s it for now. Happy Passover to all those celebrating!
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