(November 4, 2024 Newsletter)
Last week I was leading a series of group coaching sessions on fostering a culture of ongoing feedback and was surprised that when I opened it up for discussion, the first comment in each group was about the Feedback Sandwich.
Some were For, some were Against, but it seems that everyone had an opinion about The Sandwich.
Why it matters
One of the reasons that I advocate for group coaching for seasoned people leaders, as opposed to more training, is that they’ve been given the basics and now need a place to wrestle with what’s working and what’s not. The focus is on their real-life cases, not learning more theory.
The Sandwich is a prime example. At some point, they had all been taught to give feedback as Positive-Negative-Positive, which is only partly effective because it’s super simplistic.
Giving feedback – or even more advanced, fostering a culture of ongoing feedback – is such a critical part of developing a highly functioning, high trust team that we can’t leave it to simple models alone.
What do people get wrong about The Sandwich?
I’m not the type to throw the baby out with the bathwater, so I found myself defending The Sandwich and making the case that it should be in the management toolkit but employed more judiciously. Where do people go wrong?
Thinking of the three steps as “positive” and “negative.” As a starting point, this binary is dangerous. Feedback is just information, so as long as someone can learn from the “negative,” that’s a good thing. People refer to it as negative because it feels bad in the moment to get it, or because you’re pointing out what someone did wrong, but indulging that sentiment perpetuates it.
Not tying it together. There are two ways to use The Sandwich structure – one is to make a list of discrete items (Example A, Example B, Example C) and the other is to refer to the same example from a few aspects (Point A, Point B, Point C). When B feels disconnected from A and C, the receiver can easily draw the conclusion that you don’t mean A and C and were just saying something “nice” to “soften the blow.”
Using it when you just want to correct something. When you simply need to point out something that needs correcting, it can feel heavy to couch it in other stuff.
So what’s the evolved version?
If I were using The Sandwich, here’s how I’d go about it:
Step 1: Put it into Context – you can point out the progress you’ve already seen them make or the trajectory you know they’re on, acknowledge the effort they made, or name the personal/organizational value being employed.
Step 2: Share your Observation – from your perspective, what still isn’t working? What’s the next step that needs improvement?
Step 3: Why you Believe in Them – this is your chance to remind them that you’re in their corner. You believe they can make this change because…? You know how much they care about the project? You know how much progress they’ve already made? You know how dedicated they are?
By highlighting what you observe can be improved in the context of their strengths, values, or resources, you’re conveying your respect for the person without minimizing the opportunities for growth you want them to focus on.
Final thought: You might not be surprised that the next thing I’d suggest is finishing up with a question that opens up conversation.This could be “What are your thoughts about how to ____?” “How do you think you could ____?” “What would it look like if _____?”
Of course, I’m here if you want to go into more depth or practice together before sharing this kind of feedback (which is one of many ways to go about it, not the only one).
The Coaching Corner
Getting others involved
If you’re in a group setting and a question comes your way, pass it back to others to respond before you do. You can try out something like…
I want to share my thoughts, but let’s hear what others have to say.
I have some thoughts, but I’ll go last.
I’m sure _____ (person/people) have a perspective, so go first and I’ll jump in after.
Recommendations
Here’s a tough conversation that gets us tongue tied – addressing the team when someone’s been let go. Read how the folks at Crucial Learning recommend handling it.
A different kind of recommendation… have you heard of Perplexity.AI yet? It’s another generative AI tool that I’m enjoying more than ChatGPT these days – it cites its sources, which, as you can guess, I appreciate very much.
“Leading Outside Your Authority” – a blog post that seems to be specifically oriented toward women in leadership about how to become more influential. You, or women on your team, might appreciate some of the pointers here.
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