How noticing my body’s signals is making me a better leader and parent
- mayadolgin
- 1 day ago
- 3 min read
(May 13, 2025 Newsletter)
I rarely use this space to write about what’s going on with me personally. The focus is almost always on my clients and what I’m learning from them. So, I hope you’ll forgive this deviation as I reflect on the intersection of two journeys I’ve been on this past year. I promise it’s relevant.
Just over a year ago I became a mother. I think most of you know that.
The other milestone: it’s been one year since I began studying somatic coaching. “Somatic coaching helps you integrate the mind and body to facilitate growth and development,” according to BetterUp. Always looking to learn something new, I signed up for a highly recommended course that, unfortunately, was going to start around my due date.
What a time to begin raising awareness of what’s going on in my body and how to channel my energy accordingly!
While recovering from a c-section, exhausted and dealing with hormone fluctuations, I’d sit in the dark at 2, 3, or 4am with a screen and headphones watching recordings of the lectures and doing centering practices as I nursed two babies simultaneously.
Why it matters
This past week, the effort suddenly seemed worth it.
They say that the best way to learn something is to teach it. I got back last night from leading a workshop on somatic awareness – the first step of somatic coaching – for a group that I’ve been coaching over the last six months.
While prepping in the last few weeks, I was also transitioning my babies from bottles to sippy cups. For the first time in their lives, they were resisting change, hard.
I felt frustrated, impatient, and resentful; common feelings for people trying to lead others through change. It’ll be good for them! Why don’t they see that yet?
This time was different, though. Unlike other times when I felt frustrated, impatient, and resentful, now I could detect signals in my body earlier and respond more quickly. I realized that I’m more equipped to regulate my emotions because I noticed them when they were nascent and could let them run through me faster. Here are a few examples:
Sensing heat rising up my chest, neck, and into my cheeks? Let’s take a break and circle back when I’ve calmed down.
Noticing pressure in my chest urging me to just give in? Decide what to do next from a place of principles, not fear.
Feeling my jaw tighten when thinking about being misaligned with the rest of “senior management?” Open a respectful conversation instead of letting it fester.
What you can do
Once you get in the habit of noticing the signals your body is sending, choosing your next steps at work or at home are not so different.
For example, when you notice heat rising in your chest in a work meeting, try planting your feet firmly on the ground under your desk, take a few deliberate breaths, and wiggle your toes. Send a genuine, loving thought down to that warm spot in your chest. No one will notice and it will help you relax and refocus.
If this is totally new to you, you can try a 5-minute centering practice on your own and reach out to chat more about this kind of coaching.
Final thought
At the end of the workshop I led yesterday, one of the participants came up to me to share that it was surprisingly easy to notice what was going on in his body during the exercises.
While the words “somatic awareness” can sound intimidating, it was clear to him how much potential there is by paying closer attention to the signals his body is sending. He wants to learn more. Maybe you will too.
The Coaching Corner
A super simple way to bring in some somatic awareness to your work as a manager is to pay attention to little physical shifts in your team members.
Someone frowns and sinks back in their seat during a tense conversation? Or suddenly sits up and sounds excited? Just ask about it: “I noticed you _______. What’s going through your mind?”
Recommendations
I recently revisited a few classics as resources to share with clients. Enjoy them!
“Start with Why: how great leaders inspire action” – Simon Sinek’s classic TED Talk. While he talks from an organizational lens, see whether you can answer the Why-How-What questions about your own personal work.
Dare to Lead Brené Brown conversation with Dr. Lisa Lahey about Immunity to Change (Part 1 and Part 2). Now that I’ve studied ITC with Dr. Lahey’s team, I see how brilliantly simple she makes it in this interview.
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